I thought there would never be a dream worse than when I dream that Clinton is/has been cheating on me. Until last night. Last night I had a dream that I was cheating on Clinton, that would have to be hands down the worst dream I've ever had in regards to Clinton. Dreaming of the pain I caused him, seeing the look on his face that I KNOW I will never cause to be there. It tore my heart it, it's literally left my brain in pieces today, I am a mess. I cannot function properly.
I just want to sit and cuddle him all day and all night. I hate even thinking about the fact that I could ever cause him that pain.
Yuck! I just don't even understand the mindset behind cheating on someone. I don't understand how you could rationalise the act to yourself, make it okay in your head, that you can do that to someone. If you don't want to be with them, end it. You could try your luck later at trying the relationship again, but it's so open and shut.
"I don't want to be with you at the moment, I need something else". It would hurt, but maybe you could come back from it, I don't understand relationships that come back from cheating. I think people involved have major self respect and self esteem issues.
Clint and I have chosen eachother, to be with forever. No one else, I will never hold another mans hand ever again, I will never look into another mans eyes for the love, support, passion... That I only feel with Clinton. There has never been anything more clear in my mind, than the love I have for him.
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